It doesn't feel like me.

It's days like this that make me realize how old I really am.

You see, deep down, I still feel like I'm 16; in that place where you're in between being a kid and a full fledged adult. At 16 I was the exact person I am today, except for that dash of cynicism I have acquired in college. At 16 I was the giggly, happy girl; active in everything, but still exuded that don't-mess-with-me aura that has become so me these past few years.

Yes, I have learned quite a lot of things in the past 5 years, but, despite everything that has happened, I still feel like I'm my 16 year old self. It may sound weird, but that's just how it feels.

And then a day like today would come, when I would see myself donning really business-y clothes, driving to work and waiting in line for the elevator. Today I went to Powerplant, to meet up with friends who are also wearing business clothes, and had coffee with them while smoking.

I had my car fixed, bought my family's dinner, prepared food for everyone here in the house. Heck, I even washed the dishes. I fixed my dad's clothes for his trip to Korea, I took note of the grocery items I needed to buy tomorrow.

It amazes me that I'm already 21, when in fact, I feel 5 years younger. Today, it felt like the 5 years went by like a blur; like I just woke up and suddenly I'm already this old. The things I do now all feel so grown-up, that I really feel like I'm just playing a role. It doesn't feel me.