You are my sweetest downfall.

Sometimes, the effects of the things you do really will just surprise you. You do something thinking it'll be for the best of everyone, only to find out it can cause your downfall.

That downfall happened today. I was all set on reclaiming myself -- spending time with myself, my friends and my family. I thought it would be fine. I mean, we're okay enough as it is. I thought we had come to that point wherein we didn't need to constantly be with each other just to solidify the relationship/friendship.

Apparently, I was wrong. In that short span of time that I was able to do all these things, I was already losing him. He probably thought I was abandoning him, or something like that. Of course I don't really know. We really don't talk about it that much.

I'm not ready for this, honestly. Plus, I really don't wanna lose him.

It hurts me that I feel like I was ditched. Replaced. I was under the impression I was special; that I was different to him than everyone else. That's what hurts the most -- that he totally ate everything that he told me.