See, maybe I never really learned anything at all!

"In some ways we grow up, have families, get divorced, but for the most part, we still have the same problems that we had when we were 15. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering, forever young." - Meredith Grey

I have a thing about getting older. Yes, I'm partly scared; I'm scared of growing old and wrinkly of having arthritis and getting sick. Part of me is thinking that growing old is overrated. I've said it so many times that when you're a kid, you want to grow old so fast; when you're there, you realize it's nothing to rush into, really.

Eight years ago I was the feeling mature kid, trying to get a hold of her hormones and ironically trying to fit in by not trying to fit in (or at least making it seem that she doesn't want to fit in when in fact, she does.) I was the go-to person of my crushes, and being that person to them gave me the satisfaction of being close enough to them. Only, that meant me boxing myself in to the "best-girl-friend" box.

Fast forward to 2009 -- my hormones are now manageable (read: no more acne!), but I'm still that girl that's trying to fit in by not trying to fit in. I still voluntarily box myself as the "best-girl-friend," and I'm still feeling mature (Yes the years did make a difference, but I'm still trying to act older than my real age.)

I really don't think anything more will change in the next couple of years. The way I see it, the problems/situations I get myself into now as an adult are like more complicated versions of whatever it was I went through during puberty. This means, even without noticing it, I'll end up dealing with them the same way I dealt with everything else in high school.

Sorry for rambling on and on. Maybe tomorrow I'll think otherwise.

The picture was taken during 1st year high school (2000), at Kodak Glorietta.