Flashback
Flashback to four years ago. I was a freshman, hating where I was. I was overwhelmed by everything Ateneo, and everything was a struggle.
I wrote this essay for intact class. My last paper, I think. I was reading my old emails (because I was bored) when I stumbled upon this, and other papers I wrote back in freshman year. Funny how despite the fact that I was struggling (if I remember correctly, I was mocking the whole Ateneo system while writing this), I was also proud of being where I was.
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Maria Leonila Villegas AB SOS Intact 15 October 2004
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the whole semester of Intact, it’s that the Ateneo is very much concerned with the spiritual well being of their students. Though I came from a Catholic high school that also has these kinds of activities, I hold Ateneans in a very high regard because they do practice Ignatian Spirituality and the like in their lives.
In reading the articles by fellow students in the book Growing Roots, Taking Wing, I discovered that I am just like them. I’m currently a freshman overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the world that has been laid out in front of me. I was used to a very sheltered and comfortable life and though I had responsibilities of my own, these responsibilities were not as big as the ones now. Now, it’s just sinking in. As cliché as it may sound, my future really is in my hands.
Being in the Ateneo gives me such mixed emotions. The thought that out of around 10,000 who applied (I’m not even sure about the exact number), only around 1, 200 were accepted, gives me a sense of pride that I am part of the 1, 200. This makes me feel that I really am with the best of the best, the cream of the crop. But for someone like me, who has battled with mediocrity since grade school, I couldn’t help but feel insecure because I know I’m not doing my best. My mentality back in high school used to be “Bahala na, basta pumasa.”, but now, this already seems to be inappropriate. I admit, my goal this year was just to pass freshman year, but this got me thinking. In a place wherein everyone is competitive (at least in my perspective), I shouldn’t just be in the sidelines watching the competition. I should be part of it.
This is why I envy those who are blue-blooded, to the very sense of the word (Ateneo grade school and Ateneo High graduates), because the essence of the word Magis, is already in their systems, thus giving them an edge over us (again, only my opinion). Magis, or doing more than is expected for you and Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam or doing your best for the greater glory of God seems to be the driving force why most Ateneans really do strive to be the best in everything they do. And though I have only been an Atenean for roughly 5 months, I couldn’t help but be inspired by this driving force and by the people who truly apply this in their lives.
Honestly, it wasn’t my decision to study in the Ateneo, it was my dad’s. I personally wanted to study in LaSalle, not because I think it’s better than the Ateneo, but because it is more convenient. I used to think that these two are just the same and it doesn’t matter where I study because I know I’m going to get a job if I graduate from any of these two schools. But now, after almost 5 months of being here, I have come to one conclusion. I know that my dad’s decision to send me to this school is one decision I know I’ll be thankful for in the long run. Also, judging from the stories that my Lasallian friends tell me, there’s a big difference.
It’s such a relief to be in a community wherein everyone cares about you and it’s very inspiring to be with people who do things not for their own success but for God. It’s also very comforting to know that almost everyone is ready to help you. There was one time, I was searching for a book in the library catalog and I didn’t know what RLSC is and where it was. I asked my friend about it and he also didn’t know, but this girl beside me who overheard our conversation readily told me where it was and how to get books from there. In a small way, this truly embodies the Atenean’s being Persons-for-and-with-others principle. But being a person for and with others does not stop there. We should always be ready to answer the call of our society so that we could help make a change somehow.
So far, I haven’t had any bad experiences in the Ateneo and I hope to have none. I am continuously inspired by the people I meet and the things I see here that it would be no surprise that by the end of my stay in the Ateneo, I will have learned to apply Magis in my life.
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You know what I miss too? It's that this essay felt so optimistic; like I was ready to take on the world. I wish I could say the same thing right now. I think I can honestly say that the girl who wrote this is not the same as the girl writing this blog entry right now.
I wrote this essay for intact class. My last paper, I think. I was reading my old emails (because I was bored) when I stumbled upon this, and other papers I wrote back in freshman year. Funny how despite the fact that I was struggling (if I remember correctly, I was mocking the whole Ateneo system while writing this), I was also proud of being where I was.
----------------
Maria Leonila Villegas AB SOS Intact 15 October 2004
If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the whole semester of Intact, it’s that the Ateneo is very much concerned with the spiritual well being of their students. Though I came from a Catholic high school that also has these kinds of activities, I hold Ateneans in a very high regard because they do practice Ignatian Spirituality and the like in their lives.
In reading the articles by fellow students in the book Growing Roots, Taking Wing, I discovered that I am just like them. I’m currently a freshman overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the world that has been laid out in front of me. I was used to a very sheltered and comfortable life and though I had responsibilities of my own, these responsibilities were not as big as the ones now. Now, it’s just sinking in. As cliché as it may sound, my future really is in my hands.
Being in the Ateneo gives me such mixed emotions. The thought that out of around 10,000 who applied (I’m not even sure about the exact number), only around 1, 200 were accepted, gives me a sense of pride that I am part of the 1, 200. This makes me feel that I really am with the best of the best, the cream of the crop. But for someone like me, who has battled with mediocrity since grade school, I couldn’t help but feel insecure because I know I’m not doing my best. My mentality back in high school used to be “Bahala na, basta pumasa.”, but now, this already seems to be inappropriate. I admit, my goal this year was just to pass freshman year, but this got me thinking. In a place wherein everyone is competitive (at least in my perspective), I shouldn’t just be in the sidelines watching the competition. I should be part of it.
This is why I envy those who are blue-blooded, to the very sense of the word (Ateneo grade school and Ateneo High graduates), because the essence of the word Magis, is already in their systems, thus giving them an edge over us (again, only my opinion). Magis, or doing more than is expected for you and Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam or doing your best for the greater glory of God seems to be the driving force why most Ateneans really do strive to be the best in everything they do. And though I have only been an Atenean for roughly 5 months, I couldn’t help but be inspired by this driving force and by the people who truly apply this in their lives.
Honestly, it wasn’t my decision to study in the Ateneo, it was my dad’s. I personally wanted to study in LaSalle, not because I think it’s better than the Ateneo, but because it is more convenient. I used to think that these two are just the same and it doesn’t matter where I study because I know I’m going to get a job if I graduate from any of these two schools. But now, after almost 5 months of being here, I have come to one conclusion. I know that my dad’s decision to send me to this school is one decision I know I’ll be thankful for in the long run. Also, judging from the stories that my Lasallian friends tell me, there’s a big difference.
It’s such a relief to be in a community wherein everyone cares about you and it’s very inspiring to be with people who do things not for their own success but for God. It’s also very comforting to know that almost everyone is ready to help you. There was one time, I was searching for a book in the library catalog and I didn’t know what RLSC is and where it was. I asked my friend about it and he also didn’t know, but this girl beside me who overheard our conversation readily told me where it was and how to get books from there. In a small way, this truly embodies the Atenean’s being Persons-for-and-with-others principle. But being a person for and with others does not stop there. We should always be ready to answer the call of our society so that we could help make a change somehow.
So far, I haven’t had any bad experiences in the Ateneo and I hope to have none. I am continuously inspired by the people I meet and the things I see here that it would be no surprise that by the end of my stay in the Ateneo, I will have learned to apply Magis in my life.
--------
You know what I miss too? It's that this essay felt so optimistic; like I was ready to take on the world. I wish I could say the same thing right now. I think I can honestly say that the girl who wrote this is not the same as the girl writing this blog entry right now.
posted by Leigh Villegas at
5:15 PM
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