Since I already started reminiscing..

...I went and looked for old pictures of me in college.

I'm not being vain, really. (This entry has a point, other than just me wanting to post more pictures of myself.)

This was the person who wrote that essay four years ago. Now that I think about it, maybe I really don't want her back. I don't want the ugly hair, braces, and ugly eyebrows back. Haha, okay, vain reason.

But seriously. It would be nice, but I don't want her back. I know I'm the way I am right now (you know.. cynical and jaded) because I needed to be like this to survive college. My being cynical and jaded was my way of growing up, just like how other people needed to be more trusting or more confident to survive college.

I'm not trying to justify what I've done, or how I spent the last 3 to 4 years of my life. It's just that I'm slowly coming to terms with the thought that maybe, this was necessary for me. Change is constant, yes. But no one really defined what kind of change should happen to define one's coming of age.

As a matter of consequence, this kind of change was what happened to me. I learned that life isn't all about rainbows and butterflies. There are storms and icky insects too, which will, at some point, ruin everything. Therefore, arming yourself better against these things would really be helpful.

However, to say that I totally do not believe in rainbows and butterflies would be a total lie. I know there's still a part of me that believes that everything will turn out right at the end, and that involves some sort of idealism. Let's just say, I've learned to be more guarded about a lot of things.