Twenty two.

Only 5 more days until I turn twenty two, and I find myself actually dreading the thought of my birthday.

I've always been a birthday person. I like celebrating birthdays. It's an excuse for me to do things that I wouldn't usually do on a normal day, and it's one day when everyone treats you more special than usual.

But then 2008 hasn't really been good to me, thus, I'm sort of dreading my birthday this year. The emptiness will be magnified, I'm sure. This is the first birthday I'm gonna be having without Yaya, and the first year that I'm not gonna be having her spaghetti and fried chicken that I absolutely love. You see, her spaghetti and fried chicken has been sort of a tradition each time I celebrate my birthday. I've been having it since I could remember, and this is the first time I know I'm not gonna be having it.

Twenty two is definitely going to be a turning point for me. I have so many things to sort out, so many things to think about. So many changes have been happening and have happened, and I feel like I'm floating on air, not sure when I'll finally find solid ground.

I just want to at least be genuinely happy on the day of my birthday. Period.